There Will Be His Treasure Also
by Booksrgood4u
Summary: "Where a man's heart is, there will be his treasure also" - Saint Ambrose of Milan It isn't easy for her, either, but though she might feel like she's vanished, Kaz has always been able to see her.


"Where a man's heart is, there will be his treasure also" - Saint Ambrose of Milan

He had finally done it. Gotten up his courage and done that thing that had haunted his thoughts since the day he had seen her laughing in his window and realized just how frighteningly enamored with her he was. Kaz had finally kissed Inej. He had taken a deep breath and closed the last remaining distance between them, pressing his lips to hers, and drowning. He had expected it, of course, the touch of skin on skin had always sent him into visions of drowning. So of course he was drowning. But this time he was drowning in her, and he didn't mind one bit.

Kaz didn't know whether it was a moment or a lifetime later, all he knew was that it was too soon for him. Too long, evidently, for Inej. Suddenly her hands were against his chest, shoving him away from her with a burst of panicked strength. She was pressed up against the wall before he had opened his eyes or felt her move, gasping at the loss of her, his muddled brain trying to catch up.

Her eyes were wide and unseeing. Or rather seeing something else, an alternate reality, and her breathing was harsh and uneven. Kaz froze and cursed himself for pushing her to far. Always it was him, panicked and gasping, reeling away from her. Always it was her voice that drew him back. Now it was Inej fighting off demons against the wall, and he didn't know how to reach her. He cursed himself again, ten times over.

"Inej," he said her name cautiously, afraid to move closer or spook her even more. Her eyes snapped back into focus, and she looked like an animal caught in a trap for a moment, before recognition dawned in her eyes. Her arms came up to hug herself, trying to stop her shaking.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I thought I could handle it."

Kaz could see a thousand familiar feelings warring behind her eyes. Horror. Shame. Regret at pushing away the only person you could fathom holding close. He had felt the same things every time he had pushed her away as they slowly worked through his own troubles. Everything in him spurred him on to the only response his more violent side felt was equal to the situation - go out and find Heleen, and every one of her clients, and anyone responsible for turning his composed, dangerous Wraith into the vulnerable, shaking girl in front of him, and make them pay for her suffering with their blood. But no. He pushed those instincts away, and tried to think of all those times she had faced him as he shook and fought off the waters threatening to swallow him and offered him what comfort he could accept.

"What did you see?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I felt myself disappearing. Becoming Invisible."

He remembered her words as he had bandaged her wounds. _It isn't easy for me, either. Even now, a boy will smile at me on the street, or Jesper will put his arm around my waist, and I feel like I'm going to vanish._ Ironic how disappearing was what she did best and what she feared most. He supposed the difference lay in the choosing.

"I see you, Inej," Kaz whispered. She blinked at him a moment, before giving herself a little shake. A smile quirked her lips.

"I know you do, Kaz, makes it damned hard to sneak up on you."

Kaz smiled a bit too, glad to see her good humor returning, extending his hand to the space between them like a question. She hesitated a moment.

"I can leave if you need some space," he offered, pulling his hand back slightly when she didn't take it.

"No," Inej snatched at his hand using it to draw them close together.

"I want this. And I can handle it, I know I can." She pressed her eyes shut for a moment as if convincing herself. Kaz wouldn't move until she told him she was ready.

"Tell me what to do." Kaz' voice was as gentle as he could make it. Inej stepped as close as they had been before, tilting her face up to his.

"Just be here to remind me who I am in case I start to slip away." She stood a little straighter, pressing their lips together.

He was drowning again, and for the first time in his life, he was more than happy to let go and let the current of her kiss drag him under. But he knew he needed to fight it, now more than ever. He needed to stay present with her and catch her if she started drowning in dark waters of her own. She pulled away slightly, just barely breaking the kiss, her eyes still shut.

"Talk to me," she breathed against his lips. "Say my name. Remind me that I'm here, that it's you."

"Inej," he whispered, and they were kissing again. Whenever he felt her pull away or stiffen, he racked the small part of his brain that was still functioning for some fragment of a memory to remind her of who she was. Who they were together. It took all of his hard won self control to keep his mind clear, but he would do anything, anything at all, to help her heal as she had so patiently helped him. Feeling her lips start to falter against his, he seized on a memory of a jibe from a long ago conversation.

"My darling Inej," he breathed. He felt her lips quirk upward and the tiniest puff of a laugh. She thought he was joking again, as he had been then. But Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands and Bastard of the Barrel, liar and trickster and confidence man that he was, had never spoken truer word in his life the words he echoed next:

"Treasure of my heart."

Thanks for reading to the end!

~Booksrgood4u


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